(This is the sound I had running through my head just now. Plus this man's fantastic accent aids in the illusion of being a 1920's reporter on the trail of a hot scoop.)
Well, friends, we may have had a breakthrough in The Case of the Girl Who Can't Eat Anything. After chatting with multiple people about the things that I can't eat, I believe I've come to the conclusion that I have a gluten allergy.
*Cue Psycho slasher music here*
After thinking about it though, I realized that a lot of things that make me sick contain some sort of gluten.
Beer (barley or wheat)
Imitation Crab Meat (wheat)
Bread??? (Please, God, NO!)
I need to do some more experimenting, but this may be the final piece of my dietary puzzle. Maybe I'm not even lactose-intolerant! Maybe it's just been a latent reaction to gluten! Holy moly articholy.
I feel like I just found the Lindbergh baby, and he's been staring up at us from his crib the entire time.
Ducky has been up on the kitchen table twice this morning and is currently missing -- after demanding that I feed her the rest of her breakfast. She may be more wily than I give her credit for. . .