Today I'm going to be a tease (1/3)

The following will be in three parts. You will know it's time to turn the page when you hear a sound like this: *Ding!*

First things first.

Cat Count

1 sister snuggling with a snoozing, snaggle-toothed feline

4 points (ears and whiskers) poised in disdain (and probably pure, pernicious poison)

Infinite nights of never-sleep from the nefarious naughtiness of my sister

(Please notice how Cricket snuggles up with Josie, and Ducky maintains a comfortable distance. We really are alike.)
End Post 1
*Ding!*

Cat Count

Cat Count

0 The number of consecutive hours the cats have stayed awake today.

1 The number of times I brought Cricket on an adventure to the car only to have her try to run away because she thought we were going to the vet.

2 The number of times Ducky has tried to make me feel guilty for kicking her off my lap because I had to use my legs.

3 The number of cat-meals I poisoned in an attempt to kill the cats (Just kidding, PETA. Retract those claws.)

While taking pictures of my outfit (for my next post), I got a couple of pictures of Cricket lurking behind me. This one, in particular, reminded me of a "Dear Blank, Please Blank" post Josie found a couple of days ago.
Dear Diary,

Today, my slaves mocked me with a feathery stick. It was oddly tempting. They are messing with my mind. They will not be getting any cuddling tonight. Today I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another.

Sincerely,
Cat


And there you have it. Cats in a nutshell. Which is, in itself, quite the visual.

Cue the Telegraphs (Victory Garden)

(This is the sound I had running through my head just now. Plus this man's fantastic accent aids in the illusion of being a 1920's reporter on the trail of a hot scoop.)


Well, friends, we may have had a breakthrough in The Case of the Girl Who Can't Eat Anything. After chatting with multiple people about the things that I can't eat, I believe I've come to the conclusion that I have a gluten allergy.
*Cue Psycho slasher music here*
After thinking about it though, I realized that a lot of things that make me sick contain some sort of gluten.

Let's review:
Beer (barley or wheat)
Imitation Crab Meat (wheat)
Pizza (wheat)
Bread??? (Please, God, NO!)

I need to do some more experimenting, but this may be the final piece of my dietary puzzle. Maybe I'm not even lactose-intolerant! Maybe it's just been a latent reaction to gluten! Holy moly articholy.

I feel like I just found the Lindbergh baby, and he's been staring up at us from his crib the entire time.

Cat Count
Ducky has been up on the kitchen table twice this morning and is currently missing -- after demanding that I feed her the rest of her breakfast. She may be more wily than I give her credit for. . .