March 29, 2011

Victory Garden

When I was younger, I was an incredibly picky eater. I remember sitting at the dinner table hours after my family had finished, left to stare at my asparagus, growing colder and slimier by the second. While I never resorted to the antics of my sister (i.e. sticking her carrots down the floor heating vent), I was not a happy camper when it came to eating my veggies. Broccoli was fine drowned in melted cheese but as for everything else--no, thank you. Even apples had to have the skins cut off or else I would gag as I tried to swallow them.

Suffice to say I've always had food issues.

In the past two months or so, I've realized that I have more food intolerances than I knew at first. Let's take a look, shall we?

Things that I'm allergic to:
1. Garlic
2. Pineapple (maybe)
3. Pollen
4. Oil paint
5. Keira Knightley

Things that make me sick:
1. Low-blood sugar (i.e. not eating enough)
2. Lactose
3. Beer
4. Red meat
5. White meat, in excess
6. Citrus, in excess (maybe)
7. Bananas (they're mushy and make me gag)
8. See previous list

As a result, I've been eating a fairly vegetarian and soy-based diet. Now, I do enjoy my veggies quite a bit--more so certainly than when I was younger. But it hasn't been quite so fun trying to find additional sources of protein and iron and all those other nutritional words that mean nothing to me. Also (since I'm in list mode). . .

Previously enjoyable activities that have now been ruined for me:
1. Baseball games (beer and hot dog)
2. Having a giant glass of milk with a warm fresh-out-of-the-oven brownie
3. Barbecues (guess who's going to be the urchin nibbling on the tomato and lettuce toppings while everyone else is gobbling up their giant hamburgers this summer)
4. Eating Caesar Salad (garlic)
5. Talking about Pride and Prejudice (NO! I don't mean the new one! I mean the mini-series that was created before it got ruined!)

This leads me to my point. I'm going to be posting a new segment every once in awhile entitled "Victory Garden." Having to watch what I eat, I think it will be interesting to see how long I can keep myself alive before I, as a weak gazelle, am forced to lie down beside the watering hole, curled up in the fetal position, whimpering to the scavenging predators that they win.

But as for now, I'm up and about, leaping around, hooves pleasantly pattering along the plains.

Currently, I'm headed in the direction of the Farmer's Market downtown.

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